Please Don’t Make Your Goldfish Drink Bleach

They can’t say no

I beat my brain over and over until I could see the writing on the skull. No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t find the answer.

“What does space actually mean?”

It’s a simple question, but with millions of answers on Google, thousands of academic studies on the subject, and a loud-mouthed stranger named Mr. Carlson telling me to drink bleach for some reason, who could I trust?

Einstein wrote about how matter can affect the continuity of space and time. Gene Roddenberry posited space is the final frontier for humanity. Robert Heinlein thought the universe and the space inside it was so confusing it had to have been built on a government contract.

But none of these really answered the question for me, so I had to look elsewhere.

I looked at my router and found that space for our society started expanding at a massively hopeful rate when the internet came along. It was supposed to expand our knowledge, bring us together, and unite the world as an educated force for good. Fast forward a few years and we somehow saw the exact opposite occur. I’m sure it’s not related to bleach, though.

I looked at my fridge full of manufactured unhealthiness and saw how space is made more efficient…